tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2403223154281092605.post8050960663900162586..comments2023-08-17T08:55:52.643-07:00Comments on Emily Clarkson: Project 3: Storytelling and Commission- Online Greenlight Revieweclarksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14109656778873436497noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2403223154281092605.post-80297703467646751192013-01-24T11:14:39.222-08:002013-01-24T11:14:39.222-08:00...Um... Lucy???
Thank you for all the compliments......Um... Lucy???<br />Thank you for all the compliments! I must admit, when i initially imagined the story, there was no dialogue at all. It sort of slipped out mid-scripting and I agree, it is not at all suited for this story. A lot of clowning around is communicated through action and not words. I will see if I can find any stills of circus entrances and try to alter them into a more western look and reinvent the name of the place as well. (I know, I know, it was weak :/ But I completely blanked) <br /><br />I was also thinking of setting things in the fourties, having seen that western ticket stub you sent me a link to. (the date on it was 1939) so it sounds like a perfect match! I did start to look at the decor a little. I'll post up some more influence maps soon. <br /><br />As for the blog I have been working on that! I've noted down how to fix up my template having asked Kinbi and Jake and I'm working on the artistic side. I'm sorry it wasn't ready for OGR but the Uni work came first naturally :D <br /><br />Thank you for all your help Phil! Onwards!eclarksonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14109656778873436497noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2403223154281092605.post-3059688425144168412013-01-24T09:23:28.275-08:002013-01-24T09:23:28.275-08:00oh - a nicely presented OGR, but Emily - do me - a...oh - a nicely presented OGR, but Emily - do me - and your blog browsers a favour - go seek out the assistance of Sam and Jake and let's see a quirkier, more personalised blog template from you!tutorphilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11842833126210822641noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2403223154281092605.post-39645393563225142972013-01-24T09:21:52.621-08:002013-01-24T09:21:52.621-08:00OGR 24/01/2013
Hey Lucy,
Your creative writing e...OGR 24/01/2013<br /><br />Hey Lucy,<br /><br />Your creative writing experience shines out here! I really enjoyed your script etc. I could see it very visually and it made me smile - a lot. It might be that some of the gags etc have to go in terms of pace and duration, but I loved all the inventiveness - the flower being used to fill glasses etc - very nice. Personally, I'd take out all the dialogue, because I don't think your story needs it; I'm sure you can convey these conversations visually through gesture and facial expression alone.<br /><br />The only thing I'd probably suggest in addition to this is just make sure in the flash back that the circus's wild west-ness is more clearly signalled; i.e. something like 'Wild Bill's Rodeo Circus'. What with this western implication, you might want to consider siting your restaurant somewhere very American in flavour in terms of its production design and mise-en-scene. In essence, I'm suggesting you embrace the Americana factor, both in terms of environment and production design; so, for example:<br /><br />http://www.lumixlifestyle.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/gallery/Iansky/American-Diner.jpg<br /><br />http://www.escapeintolife.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/3943961665_de46e6ee62.jpg<br /><br />http://blog.hamptonterrace.com/Portals/25782/images/normanrockwell.jpg<br /><br />http://www.beinteriordecorator.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/American-burgers-Cafe-Interior-Design-restaurant.jpg<br /><br />- also, I don't know why, but I'm thinking 1940s/50s America, not modern day...<br /><br />I look forward to seeing how this develops in visual terms; be sure to use all the available resources on myUCA - including the character design stuff. Have fun!<br />tutorphilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11842833126210822641noreply@blogger.com